You're Not Alone
by SnowMakesMeCry75
Summary: Shawn doesn't have a problem, he used to, but not anymore... maybe if he keeps telling himself that he'll believe it. Answer to the 100 Themes challage, in order.
1. Introduction

Story Notes:

Story Notes:

This is a story dealing with Eating disorders; it could be a trigger, so that's a WARNING.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

This story was inspired by "Skinny B's and Swedish Speaking Elephants" by aeronautical

Author's Chapter Notes:

The first few chapters I have written were hard; this is my first fic for Psych and my first response to any kind of challenge. I hope I do well, wish me luck and review; tell me what I can do to improve.

Shawn listened as people around him told their stories one by one. For him this was strangely familiar, as if he had been in this same place, doing the same thing before. That of course was not the case, however, he had been in a very similar situation years ago, but it wasn't in Santa Barbra and it defiantly wasn't with these same people. He would know.

As the next 45 minutes passed Shawn started feeling more comfortable, the more time that passed the closer he got to being able to escape without opening up about his "story". Quite frankly he almost felt bad for lying to the people surrounding him, almost. Just as he thought he was in the clear someone addressed him, and his lack of input.

"Mr. Spencer, why don't you share something about your self with the group? I don't expect you to tell your whole life story, but how about you just tell us about why you're here?" The woman addressing him was the leader of the group, also know as the psychiatrist.

"Hi my name is Shawn and I'm an alcoholic…" Shawn's comment was met with silence from around him, "What no "hi Shawn" or anything like that? No? That's not how this works. Guess I'm in the wrong place, guess I'll go then." As the words left his mouth he made a move to stand, however, the woman who had asked him to speak stopped.

"Mr. Spencer, you know you are in the right place, and you know what you're supposed to be telling us. Now please, sit back down and talk, admitting you're problem is the first step to recovery." The way she spoke was very condescending, almost as if she thought he was below her.

"Fine," Shawn rolled his eyes and flopped dramatically back into his seat. "First off, call me Shawn, Mr. Spencer reminds me of my father. Secondly, I'm here because I have an eating disorder, just like the rest of you, happy?"

The woman simply rolled her eyes in response, "Thank you, that is all for this week, I will see you all next week at the same time. Have a good week." Shawn stood to leave just like the others; however he was stopped once again. "Mr. Spencer… I mean Shawn. I hope that your attitude changes within the next week. You are here by choice, you chose to get help, stop acting like everyone here is the enemy, because that is not going to help any one recover."

"I'm not here by choice, I was forced to come. So how about… you let me just sit and observe next week, and I won't be the negative cloud that you think I was this week." Shawn said before turning and walking out of the room.


	2. Love

Story Notes:

When Shawn walked into Psych he found Gus sitting at his desk working on his laptop. When he heard the door open, he looked up, "Where have you been Shawn? I've been sitting here for over an hour. I could be working. In fact, I should be working. You better have a pretty good explanation for this."

"Ah Gus, I told you to get here at 3pm not 2."

"No you didn't Shawn, called at one thirty and said to come to the office right then. I told you in half an hour. I then leave work, miss a meeting, and come over here thinking that there's some big case, or something, only to find an empty office."

"Oh, huh… sorry. Anyway I was out working our newest case, a suspected murder."

"Really? And what did you find out?" Gus looked skeptical at best.

"Nothing yet, I'm working on getting in with the suspects at the moment, it might take a while, but it'll be worth it. Trust me." Shawn said as he sat down

"Great, I just missed more work, to hear you tell me that you have nothing, and you're going to continue to have nothing for a while. Shawn I'm going back to work, I'm not answering any of your calls, not until Monday. If by then you have some information about this case, call me, if not, don't bother." Gus said gathering his things.

"Gus, buddy, come on, you don't even know what the case is yet."

"No Shawn, I'm not listening. You just love to torture me, you love it, and I know that. Now how about you go find someone else to torture, and leave me alone for a while." Gus said as he fled out the door.

"But Gus, I love you!" Shawn called after his friend had left the office. When his friend didn't come back, he sighed and decided to take a nap on the couch.


	3. Light

Story Notes:

Shawn rolled out of bed. It was past noon already, but he didn't care. There wasn't anything to do. Gus was true to his word about ignoring his calls; it had been 5 days since they last talked. After the first day he started hanging around the station because he was bored and he wasn't going to be able to work on their newest case for a week. After 2 days of hanging around he was given the boot and told not to return unless he was called.

After getting out of bed Shawn walked into his kitchen and looked around for something to eat. He was about to cut a bagel in half when he realized what he was doing and put it back. To be able to do this case right he had to get into character, which meant eating lighter for now, the fewer calories he consumed the better. That meant pineapple for breakfast, water for lunch and then something low in calories for dinner. It wasn't easy for the first few days. Eating light meant he had less energy, but it didn't really matter, since he had nothing to for at least 2 more days anyway. This diet wasn't going to be for long, he just needed to lose enough weight to worry the clinic he was investigating at, that way he could get committed, and that way he could get more information.

The case he was working was for some kid who went to the clinic's parents. Apparently their son admitted himself to the clinic for help after persuasion from his parents. Less then a month later he died of starvation. The police didn't investigate much because he had history of an eating disorder. The family had a different feeling. They felt that it was someone in the clinic's fault, and so they hired him to find out.

That was over three weeks ago. He didn't tell Gus at first, because he wasn't even sure if there was anything to it. He started to investigate, on the surface it looked like the clinic was okay, but upon digging he found a lot of males who had admitted themselves, then died not long after of starvation. That was when he put himself on a near starvation diet. He knew what he had to do, he had to become light enough to pass off as anorexic, become admitted to the clinic as a resident, and then investigate more.

Since starting his "diet" he was already noticing the difference, he just needed to lose a few more pounds before Monday, he was going to be weighed again, and he knew that if he was able to drop 10 pounds in one week, they would admit him no problem. With that though he placed the pineapple down and went into the bathroom. He pulled out the scale he kept in the closet and stepped onto it and looked down. The number that stared back at him almost scared him, 130, that meant he lost 25 pound in three weeks. Defiantly not healthy, but still, it might not be enough to get admitted. 'That's it' he thought to him self 'a lighter diet it is then.'


	4. Dark

Story Notes:

Shawn knew his mind better then anyone else, and by time Monday rolled around he knew he was in trouble. Over the course of three weeks his mind had become a dark place. All he could think about was what he had eaten, what he was going to eat next, when he was going to eat it and what the consequences of that food would be. He knew this feeling, the over whelming feeling of hunger, and the feeling of accomplishment every time he denied his body food. These were the feelings he came to know, love and later loathe in his early 20s. They were the feelings he had to fight so hard to banish and keep at bay.

On Monday he went back to the clinic for the meetings he had signed up for. The ones he was able to get into due to the medical history that no one but he and a few others knew about. When he stepped onto the scale and saw the number 131 staring back at him he felt the darkness completely consume his mind, all he could think was 'a pound, I gained a pound?!'. He couldn't believe it; he was so consumed in the darkness of his mind that he missed the look the doctor and psychiatrist shared.

He didn't realize the concern they shared until someone started speaking. "Mr. Spencer, you lost another 5 pounds, which is not what we want to be seeing. I am going to recommend that you start private sessions along with the group ones you're already attending. If this weight loss continues I'm afraid I may have to recommend an extended stay with us." The doctor said.

"Fine, whatever, I'll stop losing weight." Shawn said, a bit harsher then he intended before standing and storming towards the door. "I'll see you next week I guess."

"Are you forgetting about your group session?"

"No, I'm just not going this week; I don't think I'll be a positive influence this week." Shawn said before leaving the room quickly. He was starting to fear that he had gotten in way over his head.


	5. Seeking Solace

Story Notes:

Shawn slumped onto the couch in the Psych office. All he wanted to do was take a long nap before dinner with his father. All that he could think about was how he was going to be able to not eat much at his father's and not raise suspicions. He knew his father would find it weird if he didn't eat, no matter what reason he came up with. He also knew that if he cancelled he would hear about it for weeks. No he had to think of a way to avoid eating, but first, a nice long nap.

Just as he got comfortable on the couch, however, Gus came into the office. Shawn looked at him slightly confused. "Your father called and asked me to come to dinner tonight."

"Surprising, normally he wants it to be just the two of us so he can yell at me without looking bad to people. Maybe he feels like using you to make me feel worse." Shawn said, lacking a bit of his normal cheer and energy. He was just too tired to keep up his joking exterior.

"Dude, are you okay? You don't look or sound too great." Gus said, moving to get a better look at his friend. "Are you losing weight?"

Shawn was shocked for a second, how did Gus notice? It wasn't much weight. "Yea, I'm fine, I'm just getting over a cold I've had all week." This excuse seemed to pacify Gus, at least for the moment. This gave Shawn some comfort, if he could convince Gus maybe he could just use the same excuse on his father, it was worth a try.

"Right, well we should get going, your father said he wanted you over before dinner so you could go through some of your stuff in the attic."

Shawn wasn't surprised, of course his father wanted something that would be the only reason he would personally call Gus and ask him to dinner. If Gus wasn't going his father knew there was no way in hell that Shawn was going to go through anything in the attic. He simply just rolled his eyes and stood, despite the fact he had no desire to go to his fathers. He just didn't have the will to fight with Gus. At least he had Gus to back up his sick claim. He at least found a little bit of solace in that.


	6. Break Away

Story Notes:

Seconds after stepping into the house Shawn was pulled to the attic by his father. Once in the attic his father pointed out three boxes, all labeled with "Shawn's" on them in black marker. "You know, I don't think I have the room for these, I do live in a small apartment," Shawn said, a small smirk on his face.

"Shawn, there's three boxes, I'm sure you'll have room, now get them out of here."

"Fine, but when I get evicted because of the mice I'm blaming you. My lease doesn't allow pets you know." Shawn said moving towards a box.

"There are no mice in this house; I think I would know if there were." His father said, stepping to the side to watch his son move the boxes.

"Tell that to Chairman Meow, and all the dead mice he left in my room." Shawn said as he disappeared down the stairs with a box. Henry just watched his son disappear before grabbing a box and fallowing his path.

Shawn walked down the stairs and out of the house slowly. By time he got to Gus's car he was exhausted. He was breathing heavy, which gained unwanted attention from Gus, who was waiting by the car shooting Shawn a confused look.

"What's wrong with you?" Henry said when he caught up with his son, who looked like he was having a hard time.

Shawn jumped at the sound of his father's voice so close behind him. "Nothing," he said shortly dropping the box next to the car and moving to go back inside.

"I'm not stupid Shawn, you look like you're ready to pass out, are you hurt again?" Shawn rolled his eyes at his father's insistence of something being wrong with him. There was nothing wrong; he was just tired, perfectly normal thing.

"I'm fine dad, I'm just a little tired, I'm getting over a cold at the moment." After these words his father let it drop, but continued to look skeptical of his son's excuse.

After all three boxes were in Gus's car the three men went back into the house and sat down at the table. Shawn watched as his father placed the side dishes onto the table before handing out the stakes he cooked. As he looked down at the large piece of stake on his plate Shawn felt his stomach turn, there was no way he was going to be able to no eat without raising suspicion to something being wrong, his father was already suspicious of him.

Slowly Shawn started to cut his food up into small pieces and then forced himself to eat them one by one. Each piece felt more and more like failure and for the first time his father's cook made him feel sick to his stomach. He kept eating despite all of this, he knew that if he stopped he wasn't going to be able to start again, and he had to finish everything on his plate.

Once the plate was clean Shawn felt bloated and sick, the longer he sat at the table making small talk the worse he felt. "Hey Gus, do you think you could bring me home, I still feel like shit." Henry looked at Shawn skeptically, not really believing his story of illness, but not pushing the fact. At least some of the stuff was out of the attic now.

Shawn thought he was almost in the clear once he was in the car, his father had watched him all through dinner, looking suspicious of him. He was wrong, however, because once they pulled away from the house Gus wouldn't stop glancing at Shawn. This continued until they pulled up in front of Shawn's apartment, then when Shawn moved to get out of the car Gus locked the doors. "Nope, you're not going anywhere until you answer a few of my questions."

Shawn looked at his friend in disbelief, "You are aware that I'm not really dumb, and I do know how to work a lock, right?"

"Of course I do Shawn, just shut up and listen for one second."

"Okay, one, time's up." Shawn then unlocked the door and almost had himself completely out when Gus grabbed his arm. Shawn rolled his eyes and looked to his friend in what he hoped looked like nothing more then slight annoyance. "What now Gus, do you want me to open my soul and tell you what emotions caused my cold? Cause if not I just want to go inside and sleep, thank you."

Gus studied his friend for a moment, and Shawn tried to wait it out, knowing that his friend was about to give and let him go without any further investigation but then he could feel his stomach start to rebel and he knew that he had to get into his apartment soon before he lost what he had eaten onto the front lawn. An action that would surely gain Gus's attention and worry.

"Sorry buddy, as much as I would love to continue this heart filled staring contest, I have to go, bye." Using his friend's surprise to his advantage, Shawn was able to pull his arm from Gus's grip and make it inside.


	7. Heaven

Story Notes:

Shawn almost didn't make it through his apartment in time. As soon as he had his front door open he was sprinting towards the bathroom. Just as he reached the toilet his stomach decided that it was done trying to hold the sickness down, and everything that he had forced himself to eat come back up. Shawn clasp tightly onto the toilet bowl as his stomach released its contents a number of times.

After he felt like his stomach was empty Shawn allowed himself to move away from the toilet and sink against the side of the tub. This felt a lot like heaven, he had forgotten the feeling of satisfaction and pure bliss he used to get when the food he had been forced to eat came back out. He knew that he had still absorbed a large number of calories, but he could work those off later, all that mattered right now was the fact that his stomach no longer felt like it was being twisted every which way, and for that he was glad.

In his rush to get to the bathroom he didn't notice the fact that he left the door open, he didn't hear someone come into the apartment to make sure he was okay and through his bliss he didn't notice his best friend, standing at the door of the bathroom staring at him in horror. If he had seen all of his he wouldn't be in such bliss, but he didn't so in his world, at the moment everything was just a little bit more okay.


	8. Innocence

Story Notes:

Shawn didn't move from his spot on the floor for a while, he was just to comfortable and tired to move, that was until he remembered the front door. Only after realizing he left the door open did he get off the floor, flush the toilet and rinse out his mouth. Once he was finished in the bathroom he walked back to the front of the apartment but when he went to close the front door he noticed it was already closed. His heart sank, that meant that someone was in the apartment and he was fairly certain he knew who it was.

Just as he realized someone was in the apartment with him he heard someone clear their throat from the couch. Slowly Shawn turned around, noticing his friend sitting on the couch. He quickly put on the best face he could, even though he knew by the look on Gus's face that he had been caught. "You know, I always thought that breaking into a friend's apartment was my thing, not yours."

"I didn't break in Shawn; you left the front door wide open." Shawn had made the mistake of making eye contact and now he couldn't break it for fear of raising his friend's suspicions even more, not that it really mattered since he knew his friend had heard him throwing up just moments ago. "I fallowed so that I could find out what was up with you, but now I think I know." Shawn braced himself for the questions and accusations that he knew were coming soon. Talking his way out of this mess was going to be hard. "Shawn, do you… are… damn this is weird to say to you of all people but, do you have an eating disorder?"

Shawn froze, he knew that it was coming but hearing the words coming out of his friend's mouth still freaked him out, but he was able to recover quickly. "An eating disorder? Really Gus, what would make you think that? You know that I love nothing more then food. Well, pineapple, but that's a food, so I guess that doesn't really count…"

"Shawn, how could I not think that, really, you've lost a lot of weight and tonight at dinner you showed some of the classic signs, like cutting your food into little pieces, and eating it slowly and looking at it like it was the cause of all the problems in the world. Then you started acting strange and saying you don't feel well, then you come home and I see you throwing up. All of that screams eating disorder."

"Really? Or, more possibly it means that I have a stomach bug. I told you I haven't been feeling well, I've been sick all week. This cold has killed my appetite; I haven't been able to hold down food all week. I only ate at my fathers so I didn't have to hear him ask all kinds of questions, clearly that was not a good idea on my part." Shawn hoped that his friend would buy his excuse, it was a long stretch.

"I hope you're telling the truth Shawn, I really do." Gus then stood up from the couch, "I'll leave you alone for now, get better soon man." With that Gus was gone, still not completely believing Shawn.

As soon as Gus was gone Shawn sank down onto the couch, he knew that he had to be a lot more careful from now on, he couldn't have this case fail because his friend though he had a problem. Really now, him with an eating disorder, not happening. Not again at least, he wasn't letting that happen again. He had it all under control though so it wasn't going to happen again, he knew the signs.

Even with all his efforts to convince himself, however, the knowledge that there was a problem just wouldn't remove it's self from his mind. Sure in Gus's eyes he was innocent now, but how long could that last…


	9. Drive

Story Notes:

Gus drove away from Shawn's apartment, thoughts racing. He didn't know what to think about his friend anymore. He leaves Shawn on his own for a week and when he comes back his friend looks like he was being starved. Then there was the strange behavior, his friend wasn't being his normal outgoing self, not at all. He was acting weird and Gus was worried something was wrong. After he found his friend throwing up in the bathroom he knew that there was something very, very wrong.

In all the years of knowing Shawn, Gus had never once seen or heard of his friend throwing up, it wasn't something that happened. Even after drinking twice his weight in beer at a party in 11th grade Shawn didn't throw up. There was no way that a simple cold was upsetting his stomach enough to make him throw up as much as he had.

Gus had a hard time wrapping his mind around the idea of his best friend having an eating disorder, it just didn't seem possible. Shawn was the happiest guy you would ever meet. Sure he had his problems, just like everyone else, but he never seemed to let them get to him. He just shrugged them off and continued on his way. One thing the Shawn never seemed to have a problem doing was eating. In fact, eating was always the one thing Shawn could be seen doing. Food was probably the one thing he loved most in the world, and Gus just couldn't see his friend being able to part himself with it.

None of this made any sense at all. Just as Gus was about to continue trying to figure out the newest turn of events he heard a horn honk behind him. Gus blinked and looked around confused about how he had gotten to the light. He must have been driving on auto pilot, he was lucky he didn't get into an accident. This thinking would have to wait until later.


	10. Breath Again

Story Notes:

Gus sat and watched as Shawn ate. Each bite his friend took into his mouth made Gus feel just a little bit better, he just hoped that he was wrong and he wasn't going to have to listen to his friend throw up for a second time in less then a week.

Shawn felt extremely uncomfortable eating in the office, Gus was staring him down, so Shawn knew that he had to eat his entire lunch, he also knew that Gus wouldn't leave him alone until he was sure that the food wasn't going to become friendly with the toilet the second he was gone. Each bite he took Shawn felt worse and worse.

After half an hour Gus felt comfortable with the fact that Shawn wasn't going to throw up. So he stood, gathered his things and said goodbye to Shawn. Once he was out of the office Gus let out a breath, he was wrong, Shawn had really been sick after all. He laughed lightly to himself. Shawn was right, he could be to overprotective sometimes. Really, Shawn with an eating disorder, now that he was able to believe it wasn't true, the idea seemed ludicrous to him.

Shawn watched his friend walk out of the office. Once he was sure Gus wasn't going to come back he let out a soft sigh and raced to the bathroom. He knew that it was a futile effort, but he had to at least try to get rid of some of the food he had eaten, if he didn't he wouldn't be able to let his mind off of it all night.

Shawn took a deep breath and clenched his stomach in, after a few tries he felt what was left in is stomach start to rise, with some hope in his mind he carefully stuck his index and middle fingers down his throat. He hated the feeling of making himself vomit, but he knew it was necessary. If he kept eating the way he was being forced to he was going to put on weight, no lose it, and that wasn't going to get him into the clinic.

Shawn cringed and pulled his hand out of his mouth just as his stomach lurched and the contents came spilling out. He knew that throwing up didn't make much of a difference but he still felt a little more at ease knowing that he did the best he could.


	11. Memory

Story Notes:

Shawn was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking back to years ago. Back then he was in a position very similar, yet completely different then he was currently in. It seemed like so long ago, four years wasn't really all that long. He could hardly believe that after four years he was slipping right back into his old bad habit, a habit that he had tried so hard to get far away from.

He remembers how it all started years ago. He was living in some state far from home and he was alone. He had just moved after getting fired from his job. He didn't really mind, he was used to getting fired, and used to moving from place to place. It was normal at this point, it was expected. At least, that was what he kept telling himself. In reality he wasn't used to it, and he really did mind. He felt like such a failure. He couldn't hold a steady job, he couldn't hold a steady relationship, hell, he couldn't even stay in one place for to long. He hated moving and he hated being so far from home, and from his best friend.

He couldn't go back though, there was no way he was going to step foot back in that town, at least, not as long as Henry was still living there. At that time Henry was the last person on earth he wanted to talk to. His father had destroyed everything Shawn knew. He had ruined their family by leaving his mother. He had destroyed and chance Shawn had at a normal life by training him mercilessly from birth. He hated his father more then anything, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel terrible for being such a disappointment to his father.

It was this sense of failure that caused the disease to take hold. Controlling his food intake made sense at the time, it was really the only thing he had any control on. That of course didn't last long. At first it was just disallowing himself a meal here and a meal there when he really fucked up. But then he found other reasons to restrict his food intake. Eventually the whole thing had snowballed into something he had no control over. He refused to acknowledge that it had become as bad as it had. That was until he collapsed one day and was taken to the hospital and told he was dying. That was when he realized that, yea, there was a problem, and that he needed help, fast.

No one back home knew about it though, and he wanted to keep it that way. It would have been one more fuck up for his father, or his friend or anyone else to rag on him about. He never wanted to give them that information to use against him. He promised himself he wasn't going to let this get him, not again.

Now, however, it looked like he was going to be breaking that promise to himself. It had started off innocent, he was just going to get in, finish the case, and get out. He didn't think about those memories that were just waiting to be brought back to the front of his mind. That was the biggest mistake he ever made. Now this was taking over his mind again and he didn't have the power to make it stop. He didn't have the power because he couldn't ask for help; he didn't want anyone to know how weak he really was. That wasn't the only reason though, he also didn't really want to stop, he was enjoying reliving the memories of how good it feels to be empty, to have that control, to know that he was able to fallow through with something, no matter how dangerous and self harming it was.


	12. Insanity

Story Notes:

Shawn sighed to himself. It was absolutely ridiculous that he had to go to these stupid private sessions with this stupid doctor. It was insane of them to think he needed this, couldn't they see that he didn't really have a problem. That he wasn't really as sick as he was trying so hard to make them believe. The woman sitting across from him just watched him as he continued to shift in his chair. "Are you uncomfortable?" She asked in a soft voice, as if she though talking loud would scare him.

"Shouldn't I be lying on a couch or something? I thought that was the way that things like this were done." Shawn tried to sound light and joking, but the way the words came out sounded extremely forced to his ears. The look his psychiatrist gave him said that she didn't find him or his attempt at humor amusing. "I guess I thought wrong…"

"Mr. Spencer, we are going to have to talk about why you're here, the sooner you start talking to me, the sooner you can start to get better." She was still talking in a soft voice; it was starting to grate on his nerves.

"Don't call me Mr. Spencer, it reminds me of my father, just call me Shawn," Shawn said, forcing himself to not tell her about how he didn't need to get better, because he didn't have a problem, if he let it slip now he was never going to get into the clinic.

"Okay Shawn, how about we talk about why you don't seem to want to be reminded of your father."

Shawn once again let out a sigh. He was playing a part and loving it, now he just needed to lay it on think, make the woman think he hated his father, and then clam up to leave her worried. "I don't want to remember my father, because I don't want to remember the disappointment he sees me as." Shawn froze the second the words came out of his mouth, that wasn't what he was supposed to say, no he was supposed to crack some lame joke about his father being an ass, and then look pained. He wasn't supposed to tell her about his father's disappointment in him, no one was supposed to know about that.

"Why do you think that you're father is disappointed in you?" She asked the million dollar question, and for that she wasn't going to get an answer. There was no way he was going to open up his life to some lady he hardly even knew. It just was not going to happen.

"I decided to become a penguin herder. He just doesn't understand the importance of keeping penguins in line. I just wish he would give me some support." Shawn tried his hardest to keep a strait face as she glared at him.

"Shawn, its okay to open up to me, nothing you say will leave this room, it is strictly confidential."

"Okay, fine you've got me; I'm not really a penguin herder. I'm actually a Psychic, and my father doesn't except that. It's hard to have to deal with my powers on my own. I just wish he would support me." Shawn watched as his psychiatrist rolled her eyes slightly. He could tell she was on her last nerve. She was either completely annoyed at him for his sarcasm or she though he was insane. Either way he didn't really care. Just as she was about to speak again the bell rang signaling the end of the session. Shawn didn't wait for her to speak before leaving the room.


	13. Misfortune

Story Notes:

Shawn couldn't believe the words that he was hearing as he checked his voice mail. The people who had hired him said that the cops had found out what had happened to their son, it turned out a female nurse there thought that males should be able to handle their problems, that they shouldn't be there, and so she had been withholding large portions of their food. Shawn couldn't believe it, not only had he gone through hell to try and get into this place, but now he was also not going to get paid. This was promising to be a good pay day, he couldn't believe it.

Shawn had been heading out of the clinic when he checked his messages, but now that there was no reason to be investigating any further he figured he'd just go in, and withdraw himself from the program, that way they didn't start calling his house or office looking for him.

"Hi I'm Shawn Spencer; I'm just here to withdraw myself from the program." Shawn said to the woman at the desk, he hadn't seen her before and assumed that she was new.

"I'm sorry Mr. Spencer, but I'm not allowed to withdraw any patients without consulting their doctors first. If you don't mind waiting, I can call your doctor for you and ask if you can be released or not."

Shawn's heart sank, he knew there was no way they were going to release him with the way he had been dropping weight. He also knew that trying to convince them he really didn't have a problem that he was just trying to stay inconspicuous under cover wasn't going to work. "You know what, never mind, I have a pineapple upside down cake in the oven, I'll just do it another time." The woman behind the desk gave him a sad knowing smile just before he turned and walked out. This day was just misfortune falling misfortune, but he knew how he was going to get out of this, all he had to do was a little convincing.


	14. Smile

Story Notes:

Juliet was suspicious the second she saw Shawn sitting on her desk smiling at her as she approached. She had learned that when ever Shawn was smiling, he probably either wanted something, or was going to hit on her. She hoped that it was going to be the second, because she had already had a long day, the last thing she needed or wanted was to have to do something him.

"Shawn, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Jules said with a forced smile on her face.

"Aw Jules, I knew you would miss me while I wasn't around. How about you give me a hug and we can tell each other about our days?" Shawn said as he slipped off her desk and spread his arms out in hopes of receiving a hug.

"Shawn just tell me what you really want, that way I can get on with my day." She said trying to seem unaffected by his actions.

"Fine, be a party pooper," Shawn said before stretching his arms above his head in a yawn. While his arms were up his shirt rose significantly and Juliet noticed that he seemed thinner, in fact, she could see his bottom ribs through his skin. Before she had anymore time to examine this, however, his arms were down.

Shawn had noticed the way she was looking at him change from slight amusement to mild shock and he knew why. He quickly dropped his arms hoping she didn't notice his weight loss like Gus had. He knew that if she had noticed convincing her to help him out was going to be a lot harder.

"I need your help Jules. I think that someone wants me dead."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Well the fact that I was shot at might have tipped me off, just a little bit." Shawn said keeping a strait face.

"You were what?!" Juliet almost shrieked. "When did this happen? Where? Why didn't you call us the second it happened?" Her mind was running as fast as it could, she couldn't believe he could be so calm about something so huge happening.

Shawn kept his straight face for a few seconds then felt bad for letting her get all worked up. "I'm just kidding, I just need you to help me get out of a program I enrolled myself in for a privet case."

"Jeeze Shawn, don't joke about things like that." She glared at him for a moment, but the smile on his face made it impossible to stay angry at him. "What kind of program, and why did you sign up for it?"

"It's at a clinic; it's for people with eating disorders. I was trying to get in to get a read on all the people there, because some people though that their kid was killed, but the case was solved, and now I need a way out of the program."

Jules though about it, she found it strange that he seemed to have lost weight and was enrolled in a program for an eating disorder he didn't have. She didn't understand how he had gotten in at all, but decided that maybe if she helped get him out, she might be able to find out a little more. "Fine, but only because it's my lunch break."

"And because you love me," Shawn said smiling largely at her.

"I'll let you think that." She said. She knew that it was partially true though, she did love his smile.


	15. Silence

Story Notes:

Shawn was being forced to sit outside of the office while Juliet was inside talking with the doctor. It was killing him being out here alone, it was completely silent in the hallway, it was as if there was no one in the building. On top of the silence Shawn was concerned about what the doctor was telling her, because even though there was privacy and what not, there was still the issue that he was using her to get out, after he lost a lot of weight already. Add to that his history with the disorder and he knew there was reason for concern.

Despite all this he wasn't worried. He knew that no matter what Juliet was going to get him out of the program, if only to save face in front of the doctor. If he ended up having to answer some questions for her, then so be it. He didn't have a problem any more, that was in the past, so there was nothing to worry about. All he would have to say was that he lost the weight to keep up appearances, that he was fine and be on his way. Simple. At least he hoped it would be. He was worried about a few things, one was if she didn't believe him, if she thought he had an eating disorder she would surely talk to Gus about it, who would over react due to his earlier suspicions, and he would never hear the end of it.

The silence of the hallway was broken when the door open and both Juliet and the doctor walked out, "Mr. Spencer, despite my better judgment, I'm going to let you leave without a problem. However, I did tell Detective O'Hara that someone should keep an eye on your weight, just in case."

Shawn hopped up from were he was sitting, shook the doctor's hand and looked to Juliet to say his thanks. He didn't say anything to her though, because the look on her face told him she knew more then he ever wanted her to, and that they were going to have a long talk about it soon.


End file.
